Dialogue With the Girl Next Door

We sat on the retaining wall bordering two sides of the apartment building's porch and swung our feet out and in, out and in. We were six years old.

"This kissin' thing's disgusting," I said.

Karla Ward, the literal girl next door, dressed in a black and white church dress, petticoat and saddle shoes, looked out into the projects courtyard as if it were her private fiefdom. "I ain't never gonna kiss no germy boy!"

"Yes you will. Ever'body does."

"So's you gonna kiss no germy boy?"

"No!"

"Well, me, neither. I ain't gonna kiss no germy boy."

"Then you ain't never gettin' married, is you?"

"Am so!"

"Are not!"

"Am so!"

"Karla, how you gonna get married if you don't kiss no boy? Boys don't marry girls they ain't kissed."

"I ain't marryin' no boy. I'm gonna marry a real man, like Scott Carpenter!"

"Scott Carpenter's already married. I seen him on the TV."

"Don't make no diff'rence. I said," and she laid heavy emphasis on the word 'said,’ "that I'll marry a man like Scott Carpenter, not the real Scott Carpenter. He too old!"

"And you crazy."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Well, if I'm crazy, I still ain't kissin' no germy boy."

"Okay, so why don't you just kiss me?"

She leaned away and stared in shock at that affront to her girly dignity. "Youse a dirty, germy old boy!"

"I brush my teeth."

"Your crooked teeth?"

"Hey! You ain't got no teeth up front. Don't you go carryin' on 'bout no crooked teeth!"

She tired of her disapproving pose and went back to swinging her feet. Out and in, out and in.  "I'm sorry. I was rude. Mamma says I got me a mouth."

"Yo mamma's right. And you always runnin' it."

"Well, at least I ain't usin' it to kiss no dirty boy."

"The way I see it, since we live right next door, the way I see it, we gots the same germs anyway."

"I'm a girl. I ain't got no germs."

"You got germs, they just ain't as noticeable. Like, you had the measles back then, an' you went an' gave 'em to me."

"That's diff'rent. Ever'body gets the measles."

"Yeah, but you gave 'em to me. That's what my mamma said, anyway."

"I did not. I was feelin' too poorly to go give you nothin'."

"I didn't mean you gave 'em to me like that, but you had the measles germs and they floated around to me and gave me your measles. That's how."

"Well. If my measles germs came and got with your dirty ol' boy germs, I am highly scandalized."

"And, when you was sick, before I was sick, I brung you your homework, didn't I?"

Understand, homework in kindergarten is draw a picture and eat your vegetables, and the school supplies the paper. Not the vegetables.

“Well? Didn’t I?”

"Yeah, I guess so."

"So maybe I deserve a kiss, 'cause I was all chiv'rous an' shit."

"Hush yo mouth! Talkin' like that, an' I'm a lady!"

"Please excuse me. But I think I made a valid arguhment-- argooment? Discussion."

"You just wanna kiss me 'cause my dress is pretty."

"I don't wanna kiss you at all. I was just wonderin' what it was all about."

"Well, you just keep on wonderin', 'cause you a dirty, germy boy!"

"I washed my face."

"Really? Why would you do that? It's Saturday!"

"I washed my hair, too."

"Don't look it."

"But I did."

"Well. Okay. If you washed your hair and brushed your teeth and washed your face, I guess it's all right."

"I reckon so."

"So. You want to kiss me, or do I kiss you?"

"I reckon we both kinda kiss at the same time."

"Okay."

We turned just our faces toward one another.

Karla rocked her feet faster. "Okay. When I get to three, kiss! One, two..."

She laughed, lifting her hands to her mouth to hide her two missing teeth.

"What?" I asked.

"You look funny!"

"What? I was all puckered up, like on TV."

"And you looked funny!"

"So did you!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Okay, but don't pucker up so much. One, two-- Close your eyes!"

"What?"

"I can't kiss no boy if he lookin' at me. Starin' like a fish, you is!"

"How am I to kiss you if I don't know where you are?"

"Just close your eyes. Okay. One, two ... three."

Our dry, still lips connected, like pushing your fingertips together. After a moment, we disconnected and went back to swinging our legs.

"That was okay," she said.

"I guess so," I said.

"You tell anybody we done this, I'll beat you up!"

"I won't tell nobody."

"I'll beat you up!"

"Okay, okay."

"I gots my reputation to see after."

After a moment, not long before her mother would call her for church, she leaned her shoulder into mine. That put her face inches away. "Y'know, now I can't marry Scott Carpenter. I gots to marry you."

"I ain't never gettin' married."

"Yes you are. You marryin' me."

"No, I ain't gettin' married. Girls is too much trouble, 'cept for the kissin' part."

"Well, you gonna love bein' married to me, 'cause I'm a lady!"

"Kaaaaarla! Time for church!" her mother called from the door of their apartment.

Karla hopped down from the wall and dusted off the seat of her dress. "You come on over when we get back. We'll play house and I'll show you my baby."

"I don't wanna play no dolls."

"Ain't no doll, it's my baby. It's your baby, too, since you kissed me."

"But I don't wanna play with no dolls!"

"You come over or I'll beat you up, you dirty, germy, nasty boy!"

And such is the course of love.